if you ever feel bad about yourself just remember that one time i skipped school solely bc there was a giant centipede in the bathroom and i didn’t want to get near it to get into my closet
I mentioned this incident to someone yesterday and I guess a centipede overheard and thought “well gee, I haven’t messed with kelly in like four years I should really do that” because that very night a bigass fucking centipede appeared in my bathroom like some kind of stupid reminder that I have been living in false security all these years so what I’m saying is don’t speak of the devil because he WILL appear at 4 AM while you’re just trying to take a piss