agenderphantom:

shit that actually happens in pokemon:

• a giant castle rises from the ground around the main government building. this is basically peta’s fault.
  
• you ride a dragon-god into space to fight a meteor alien. this is plan b. plan a was to send the meteor alien to another dimension.
• one guy tries to get rid of the oceans. one tries to get rid of dry land. What Happens Next Will Shock You.
• a dude jumps straight out of the water onto an evil pirate ship, lowers the gangplank, then swims off to let a teenager deal with it.
• there is a 1/3 chance that a runaway 11-year-old yakuza/mafia prince broke into a laboratory to steal an adorable plant creature.
• you can buy a useless fish for several thousand yen from a shady salesman. this is actually a very good investment.
• the devil, the god of death and the bringer of eternal nightmares all really really really like cake.
• the space cultists would have won if dragon lucifer hadn’t showed up.
• god is a goat, and if you take it to the right place, it will make you a baby god.
• the most powerful trainer in the world (a 14-year-old with a pet rat) went up a frozen mountain for no apparent reason. he only comes down after you beat up his rat. this is absurdly difficult.
• the effective ruler of the unova region is a magical catgirl space princess with a bunch of pet dragons. 
• there’s a nine foot tall guy wandering around. his height is the least interesting thing about him. and his best friend is a flower fairy.